Pucker Up
by Liv Lemon
Summary: Puck's mom still thinks he is dating a nice Jew, Rachel. Puckleberry. T. You've been warned.
1. Chapter 1

"Noah, you are still seeing that girl Rachel, yes?" Mrs. Puckerman asks as she places linguini in a pot of boiling water.

"Yes, of course, Mom," He said as he pretended to do the homework that Quinn had already written in the answers for. "It's actually getting kind of serious between us." Puck was a master liar. Serious with Berry? As if. Quinn had been sleeping there occasionally, actually, when she hadn't found somewhere better to crash. This wasn't the only thing he hid from his mother. No, he wasn't dating the nice little Jewish girl, Rachel Berry. He had a pregnant girlfriend, a blonde hair blue-eyed plain out _Catholic_ girl.

What came next nearly caught him in his lie. "Have her over for dinner. Tomorrow night."

He thought quickly. "She's kosher."

"I still have ingredients left over for Passover."

"Tomorrow is the Sabbath, Mom."

"I'll call her parents and see if they mind."

"No! No, it's alright. I'll just ask her. She'll probably say yes." Dodged a bullet there.

GLEE!  
The next day in Glee practice, Rachel listened in annoyance as Brittany and Santana faltered harmonies in their duet, "Suddenly I See".

After practice, Rachel ran out, hoping to avoid Jesse and Finn, who always ended up making her cry. Her efforts were foiled, however when Puck grabbed her arm and stopped her.

"Yes?"

"Berry, I need a favor."

"Well, let me tell you now, I'm not going to-"

"No, not…. Whatever. I need you to come over to my house and pretend to be my girlfriend."

Yes. "No."

"Please. I did that ridiculous video from…. What? Eighteen Hundred? Can you please do this for me?"

I'd love to. "Do you really think this is a fair trade?"

"Please!"

Rachel told herself that it was because she owed it to Puck, which really wasn't true, as she muttered out. "Fine. I'll play girlfriend."


	2. Chapter 2

Rachel stood on the stair step of the Puckerman's house, a pastry dish of her special brownies still warm in her hand.

The doorbell had been rung and she could hear Puck's mom telling him to answer the door.

"Hey, Noah," She said excitedly as he pulled open the decorated white door. To her surprise, he leaned down and kissed her. She pulled away, shocked at the gesture.

"You're my girlfriend, remember?" he whisper snapped.

She nodded and turned to enter his house.

"Rachel!" Mrs. Puckerman said, opening her arms to hug her. "So great to finally meet you. Noah speaks of you quite a bit, you know." She winked.

"Oh, I see! Ha ha," She held out the pan to Puck's mom. "I made brownies."

"Oh, thank you! I've made matzo ball soup. Noah told me you were kosher."

"Oh, that's so kind of you,"

Conversation between them went on like this for quite a while, until they were all ready to eat. Puck's sister, Leanne, came home around this time and they all sat around the table.

"Noah and Leanne's father usually comes home from the hospital quite late, so we don't wait around for him to eat." Mrs. Puckerman explained.

Noah was relieved at how well Rachel was playing the part of his girlfriend, the nice Jewish girl his mother so well approved of.

Rachel was anything but relieved. When Noah had kissed her, it had felt so…. No, this was impossible. She did NOT have feelings for Noah Puckerman. She had a small, tiny place in her heart for him and she was less than hospitable about letting him in there, anyways. Even if that kiss did send her blood boiling.

Puck's mobile phone vibrated. He had a page from Quinn. Even if he was at dinner with his "girlfriend", a text message from the mother of his child seemed a little important.

**Need a place 2 stay 2night. Can I crash? **** Please??????**

Oh, shit.


	3. Chapter 3

Puck's mom told Rachel that Noah's dad would be home in about twenty minutes after dinner so Rachel said it would be no trouble to wait and meet him.

Puck invited Rachel upstairs until his father got home.

His room was rather typical. Crappy wallpaper that the boy who inhabited it had not bothered to take down was partially covered by posters for sports teams and heavy metal bands, clothes thrown haphazardly into a black wash sack and a bed, sloppily made with awful navy blue sheets were all commonplace in this room. Having no other place to do so, she sat down on the edge of the bed. Puck sat down beside her.

The two sat in silence.

Rachel felt his hand on her wrist and his breath on her neck as he leaned down towards her lips.

"Wh-what are you doing?" She asked, inching away from him.

"What does it look like?" he asked, giving her a playful shove. She landed with her back on the bed and put his hands on either side of her. He leaned down and kissed her and she didn't have the physical ability to protest.

She only let him kiss her for about 2 minutes before she muttered out, "No, Noah, stop!"

"What?" He said, leaning back to sit on his calves. She just stood up and walked out in to the hallway where she bumped into someone and knocked them to the floor.

"Rachel!?"

"Quinn!?"


End file.
